It was that time of the day (or perhaps night) that made me indecisive as to should I witness the sunrise due in an hour or should I call it a day. If I decided to witness the sunrise, I would be doing so perhaps after a decade. The thought of breathing in the fresh air, listening to chirping of birds and witnessing the vast canvas of sky changing landscapes from red to orange to yellow, all seemed plausible reasons as to why I should relive that experience. However, if I didn’t call it a day that time, I would end up sleeping through this coming day. And in such moments of indecisiveness, I find amusement thinking that probably, most of the births in this world are a result of moments of indecision – the indecision of whether to use protection or not.
I wondered why I suffer from indecisiveness. Is it because no one ever taught me to back my instincts and my reasoning faculty to make a decision for myself? Or is it because someone always backed his instincts and reasoning faculty to make a decision for me? Shall I blame ‘no one’ or ‘someone’ or ‘everyone’? However, I couldn’t decide on whom to blame as another pertinent question popped up that how I could decide to put the blame on anyone while I suffer from indecision.
While the disillusionment about the decisions made in my life dawned upon my mind, so did the rays of sun dawned upon my face through that broken window signaling the start of a new day. A new day – yes, that’s how people like to call each day as they believe with each day, they could start afresh: a new beginning, hence, a new day. I couldn’t say how much I wish that this were true. Had we possessed the ability to clean our slate over a night’s sleep, it would have been really a wonderful day to begin with and a wonderful life to live. However, reality is that on each ‘new’ day, we live through it as a pain with the hope of a better ‘new’ day coming up next day, interact with our surroundings carrying the baggage of our experiences and notions formed in the previous days in life.
The lack of sleep and hence, the weariness, soon, started affecting my thoughts and every object in my surrounding started acquiring significance. The broken window seemed to signify the broken dreams and the rays of light filtering in through that broken window appeared to be comforting me as a glimmer of hope, trying to convey the message to look at the brighter side. I was enticed to look at the brighter side and tried to look beyond that broken window. And after a decade, I observed the magnificent Sun rise up on the horizon. The questions which were bothering me escaped my attention as I heard the birds chirp in a backdrop of a colorful canvas of loud colors. And suddenly I felt that I was now ready to live a new day.