जान-पहचान

Reading Time: 1 minutes

चुन्नू और मुन्नू बस-स्टैंड पर खड़े थे | शायद वो बस का इंतज़ार कर रहे थे या शायद वो मुन्नी का इंतज़ार कर रहे थे | मुन्नी आई| मुन्नू उसे देख कर मुस्कुराया | मुन्नी ने उसे मुस्कुराते हुए देखा और फिर अपनी नज़र पलट कर किया उसे अनदेखा | चुन्नू ने मुन्नू को मुन्नी को देख मुस्कुराते हुए देखा और मुन्नी को मुन्नू के मुस्कराहट से मूँह फेरते हुए देखा|

बस आई| वो चली गई |  अब चुन्नू ने मुन्नू से शरारत भरी मुस्कान के साथ पूंछा “तुम तो कहते थे की तुम्हारी उससे जान-पहचान है लेकिन उसने तो तुम्हे देख कर मूँह फेर लिया” |

मुन्नू:“हाँ, क्यूंकि वो मुझे जानती नहीं है|”

चुन्नू: “हैं? भईया पहेली मत बुझाओ | तो तुम्हारी जान-पहचान कैसे हुई, यह बस बताओ |”

मुन्नू: “जान-पहचान का रिश्ता तो है | बताता हूँ कैसे | मैं उसे अपनी जान समझता हूँ और उसे मुझ जैसे सड़कछाप आशिकों की बहुत अच्छी तरह से पहचान है | तो हो गई ना जान-पहचान |”

चुन्नू: “मान गए उस्ताद | रिश्ते बनाने में तो आप बाप हो| आज से तो मेरी जान-पहचान भी कई लोगों के साथ बढ़ गई|”

Don’t blame the Flirt

Reading Time: 2 minutes

 A guy A is proposing to a girl X:

Guy: I love you and I would like to marry you.
Girl: Why do you love me?

(Guy had prepared for these type of questions by reading the books ‘How to answer difficult love questions’ , ‘How to tell a great lie to your love’, etc. He had especially prepared for this question as this question is as basic as the question ‘Tell me about yourself’ in a job interview. Although, both of the questions need to be answered properly to get into a company, there is a slight difference. In one case, you are getting paid to stay in the company, whereas in the other case, you are paying to stay in the company.)

Guy: ( takes a while to recollect the answer, pauses and then begins) I love you because you are the most gorgeous girl i have ever met. You won’t believe me but your face always looked familiar to me even before we met because I think I used to see you in my dreams.

Girl: I don’t believe you. All men are alike. You like me because i am the most gorgeous girl you have met. What if you meet, someone more gorgeous than me? I am sure you will run after her then.
Guy: No, that’s not true. You are the one and i will really miss you in my life.
Girl: Don’t worry. You will not miss me more than a second and will be in search of someone else. BBye.

(The guy realized later that the girl was smart and had already read books like ‘All men are alike’ and ‘How to catch a flirt’.)
 
A few days later

Girl X sees a facebook update that Guy A is in a relationship with Girl Y.
She sends him a message and says “See, i told you na, that it won’t be long before you would start searching someone else 😡“.
The guy replies back to her “What can i say dear other than that I loved you so much that I didn’t want your last words to me to turn out as untrue 😛

PS : Don’t blame The Flirt.

Is your name …?

Reading Time: 1 minutes

Guy: Is your name Neha?
Girl: Bad luck dude, i am married.
Guy: Oh! my bad.

Guy: Is your name Soumya?
Girl: why?
Guy: It was written on this handkerchief i found lying in the street which i think you might have dropped by mistake.
Girl: Oh! thanks, that’s the scarf for my pet bitch ‘Soumya’.
Guy: Oh! (Bitch).

Guy: Is your name Rashmi?
Girl: Get a life, loser, !@#$
Guy: sorry, meri maa


Guy: Is your name Joy?
Girl: ya, but don’t start flirting with me.
Guy: why?
Girl: I am already seeing someone of same sex.
Guy: What you are already having sex with someone?
Girl: What the fuck! I am a lesbo, you dumbo. Get lost, you asshole.
Guy: Oh! my bad.

Guy: Is your name Poorna?
Girl: yes. how did you know?
Guy: I was feeling incomplete until i met you a few moments ago.
Girl: (smiles)Oh! Do you see that muscular guy over there? (Guy nods). That’s my other half. Wanna meet him ?
Guy: No, thanks. My bad!

Guy: Is your name Neha?
Girl: (giggles) You are so damn funny. (starts laughing now)
Guy: What the hell! I have never been funny, neither in this life, nor in my past seven lives.
Girl: (laughing out loud now)
Guy: What the hell!

The ending
Guy: Is your name Suman?
Suman: Yes. But why are you trying to flirt with me, i am a guy.
Guy: No problem dude, i am gay (*winks*)

The Indian style ending

Guy: Is your name Sapna?
Girl: yes. how did you know?
Guy: I saw you in my dream last night (*winks*)
(Girl smiles and they go out on a date in a hypothetical world where All ends well. (*winks*))